Spending Black Hole: Where Your Money Goes

One of the worst feelings is seeing money hit your account only to immediately leave again. The feeling of constantly wondering where your money goes is a frustrating cycle leaving us feeling defeated and overwhelmed. Tracking our spending is like reminding ourselves of the financial lifestyle that we live, and making us feel like we’re behind or that we don’t have enough. 

We think, okay if I hustle harder or work more hours, I’ll be ahead of the curve. But oftentimes, this thinking leads to overwhelm, exhaustion, and burnout, all because we are stressing about money. Why are we not putting that energy toward something positive, something that will benefit us in the long run rather than something that is keeping us stuck in this upsetting money mindset? 

Before we get too deep into the black hole of where your money goes, let’s break down the emotional states of payday. Finally, today is the day! You’re feeling relief over being able to pay bills or purchase something you’ve been waiting to buy until payday. Today you can treat yourself to something you’ve been wanting. The high also continues into the weekend as we tend to treat ourselves on our days off. I’ve heard this called payphoria, which I really like because it’s the idea that you want to reward yourself for your hard work once the money actually becomes yours. 

But once the weekend comes to an end, reality sets in and we check our bank account balance and realize that we may have treated ourselves too much. I get it, you’re afraid to look at the details of where your money goes or that paying too much attention to it will take away your freedom. You start to feel regret, shame, and guilt over what you’ve done. Now we are back to living in a constant state of anxiety for the rest of the pay period until the next payday when the cycle begins again. 

So how can we slow down and examine why we feel anxious about money? I want you to take a moment and write down your worries and fears. Identify areas of your life that require more attention, and by addressing these issues, you’ll be able to start alleviating the anxiety and stress that comes with managing your finances. 

But money isn’t always emotional. There is a practical side to understanding where your money goes. One way you can start is by reviewing your bank and credit card statements. I know this might be overwhelming at first, but take it one step at a time. Think of these statements as a neutral illustration of your life, like reading a book about your spending habits. 

When you review these statements try to find patterns and identify your money leaks - those small expenses that add up over time. Everyone’s money leaks are different, but they often are unnecessary purchases or unused memberships. For me, my weakness is Target where I spend money on items I don’t need. Other common money leaks include those daily lattes we all love, food delivery subscriptions, and even our entertainment subscriptions. 

Now that you know where your money leaks are you can start shifting the focus from “Where did my money go” to “Where do I want my money to go?” This is a crucial mindset shift for taking control of your financial future. But how do you start to make this mindset shift?

Start by determining where you want your money to go. Establish your values and priorities with your money. Think about what matters to you the most. What do you want to experience in life? What do you want to create in life? Align your spending with your values so that you can ensure your money is supporting the life you want to live. 

Remember that embarking on this journey to regain control of your finances means granting yourself intention and self-compassion with yourself. It’s not a one-day or one size fits all process to rewiring your brain to break free from your default spending mode. But guess what, it is possible. Give yourself time and patience as you work through this process and understand where your money goes.

This is deeply personal work that requires self-reflection, introspection, and self-respect. When you slow down and become deliberate with your spending, you can create a financial life that aligns with who you are and how you want to feel. Again, it’s not going to happen overnight, but trust the process, be persistent, and show yourself self-compassion to break free from the cycle of anxiety and guilt. 

Understanding where your money goes is the first step toward financial freedom. Explore the emotional triggers behind your spending habits, uncover your money leaks, and shift your focus to intentional spending. You can regain control of your financial life, I know it. This is your own unique journey. Take time to determine your values and priorities and let them guide your financial decisions. 

Financial freedom is within your reach. Take control, embrace the challenge, and embark on your financial journey. If you’ve enjoyed this blog, check out my podcast, Money Isn’t Scary where I help people overcome their fear and negative associations with money by empowering individuals to take control of their finances.