The Burnout Epidemic: Unlearning the Cycle
As a frazzled working mom, I often feel as though the last five weeks of the year are the weeks filled with the most anxiety. It’s like the weight of the entire year lands in these last five weeks, right? With all the commitments, the giant to-do list, and the literal clock ticking, it's easy to spiral into a state of anxiety and overwhelm. And I know I'm not alone in this feeling of burnout.
During this time of year, seasonal depression starts to creep in, making it even easier to fall into a rough place, especially with the end-of-year planning, future planning, and more. To counteract these feelings, we often force ourselves into rigid routines or keep ourselves extra busy. But this approach often backfires, leaving us even more drained and exhausted. Personally, I find that I start to neglect self-care during this time. I'm less interested in taking care of myself, both physically and emotionally. It becomes easier to work long days, forget to eat real food, and rely on lunches like bologna and leftover Halloween candy.
In some cases, stress is a good thing like keeping us alive with our fight or flight senses. But when it becomes prolonged, our bodies start to freak out unable to cope with the overload. Our bodies and brain need balance to operate and they don’t differentiate between stressors. No matter if you’re stressed from work, have emotional stress, or take on others’ emotions, stress is stress. Even the smallest things, like dropping a dish, can tip us into burnout if we're not taking care of ourselves.
Burnout is truly a buzzword nowadays, but it is when we feel emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted due to prolonged or repeated stress. It's that state where we feel unable to meet the constant demands of high stress, like when we're not in control of a situation, when we're asked to complete tasks that conflict with our sense of self, or when we're working towards goals that don't resonate with us. It's not just the stress itself, but the lack of support or resources to cope with it pushes us over the edge.
One thing that really irritates me about our society is that burnout is often rewarded and celebrated. We compete with others to see who can do the most, and who can carry the biggest burdens. It's like we're brainwashed to be miserable, exhausted, fatigued, and all around out of our element. Social media exacerbates this issue, bombarding us with expectations and comparisons. We see others doing things that we deem to be acceptable or the "right" way, and we feel pressured to do the same. This sets us up for failure, mediocrity, and ultimately, burnout.
Not only does burnout play a role in our society, but also for working moms. You see all these over-the-top birthday parties for kids and you determine your worth as a mother on whether or not your child has homemade unicorn-shaped cupcakes with Lucky Charms, marshmallows, and glitter. But we have the power to unlearn burnout and reclaim our lives.
But here's the thing: burnout is a conscious choice. We have the power to unlearn this cycle and reclaim our lives. It starts with recognizing that burnout keeps us playing small. With all the cultural expectations placed upon us, it's simply not possible to do it all and thrive. We need to take the time to truly know ourselves and what we want, rather than blindly following societal norms. Think about how you are playing into society’s hands rather than carving your own path.
Once we recognize this, we can start treating ourselves with self-compassion. Despite the chaos around us, we need to prioritize rest, sleep, and nourishing food, not Halloween candy. We need to do things that make us happy, even if it feels like we don't have time for it. Taking care of ourselves emotionally and physically is essential, even within the dumpster fire that is life.
Connection is another crucial aspect of combating burnout. Often, we feel like we're the only ones going through these struggles. But when we open up and share our experiences with others, we realize we're not alone. Being vulnerable and seeking support creates a network of understanding and empathy. It allows us to feel more in control and less overwhelmed.
I am the queen of feeling like I can’t share what I’m really going through because I am afraid of judgment. Sometimes, I feel like I am the only one going through it. But I’ve come to realize that opening up and sharing gives you a support network. It’s brave to share and builds a deeper connection than just surface-level conversations.
We have to be brave enough to talk about our burnout and remember that burnout is a choice. When we feed into society’s expectations of who or what we should be, we are making the conscious choice to put ourselves into that narrative. Putting ourselves at the bottom of the list is a choice when in reality we should be at the top.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog, check out my podcast, Money Isn’t Scary where I help people overcome their fear and negative associations with money by empowering individuals to take control of their finances.