The Journey to Worthiness: Unraveling the Stories We Tell Ourselves
Lately, worthiness has been weighing heavily on my mind. I’ve talked about this before, but for some reason, it’s been resurfacing in different ways in my life. We live in a world where it is completely normal to get caught up in the pursuit of success and validation.
I know these feelings to be true especially as a working mom juggling multiple responsibilities. I have found myself overwhelmed and frustrated even when I pour my energy into my podcast, sometimes I get discouraged by its slow growth. I believed that the more I pushed and hustled, the greater the reward would be. I mean I’m creating all this content, surely I will start to see success? But that wasn’t the case.
One sleepless night, I decided to brain dump and clear all the thoughts swirling around my mind. As I wrote down my thoughts, a profound question emerged - “What happens if it all goes away?” What happens if I didn’t have my Money Isn’t Scary podcast, my job, or my family, would I still be okay? This question shook me to the core because it reached my deep-seated struggle with worthiness.
Growing up, I internalized stories that shaped the perception of myself as I was unintelligent and that success had a specific definition. These narratives also extended into my role as a mother where I felt pressured to conform to a certain ideal. That I needed to be like other moms, or that my worthiness was determined by how my child behaved. I unintentionally used my podcast as a distraction, becoming consumed by desperate, needy energy, seeking validation, and recognition.
But during that late-night brain dump, I challenged myself to imagine a life without the things that validate me externally. Would I still be good enough? Would I be smart enough for my family, myself, and society? This concept of “good enough” acts as a right of passage to unlock true worthiness. Yet I always found it to be elusive and unattainable. It wasn’t until I realized I had been using achievements as a means to feel worthy did I understand that I needed to recognize my inherent worthiness. I needed to find what I deemed my worthiness rather than what my environment was telling me.
I know I’m not alone in saying that many fall into the trap of seeking validation outside ourselves. It’s the feeling of constantly needing to prove ourselves which gives away our power and allows others to determine our worthiness. I want to take that power back. I don’t want my bosses, clients, friends, and family for approval. I want to find my approval from within and show myself the same empathy and care I extend to others. As women, we are particularly prone to this pattern, putting others’ exceptions on a pedestal and assuming that validates our worthiness.
I vividly recall my struggles with postpartum depression, feeling inadequate as a mother because I couldn’t breastfeed. This made me feel like I was unable to connect with my child. I believed that I had to prove myself as a good mother, rather than recognizing my worthiness within that role. Worthiness is our birthright. We don’t need to prove or earn anything. It’s a fundamental truth that we all deserve yet most of the time, overlook.
So how can we start a journey towards worthiness? The first step is to embrace self-awareness. I want you to take a few moments to meditate and tune into the areas where feelings of unworthiness arise for you. Ask yourself these questions:
What does it mean for me to be worthy?
How would my life be different if I believed in my worthiness?
If you did believe you were worthy, what decisions would you make differently?
As you reflect on these questions, be patient with yourself and recognize the unraveling these stories can bring. Embracing and finding your worthiness is a gradual journey, it’s not a challenge to overcome or a box to check off. It requires compassion and understanding that you are on a path toward self-enlightenment and fulfillment.
How many times have you achieved a goal only to quickly move on to the next without taking the time to appreciate your accomplishment? I can personally relate to this behavior of always striving for more and never feeling satisfied. It’s crucial to recognize that “good enough” is a subjective definition that we define for ourselves.
As you go along this journey, remember to acknowledge the stories that have shaped your beliefs. These narratives may have been ingrained in us for many years, but we do have the power to choose a different story. We can lose the stories that no longer serve us and rewrite our narratives. This is a process of growth, self-discovery, and it takes time. We are all human, and life doesn’t neatly fit into a perfect box, even if we wished it did. But we can choose to embrace our worthiness and let go of the need to prove ourselves. We’ve proved enough just by being where we are, right here, today.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog, check out my podcast, Money Isn’t Scary where I help people overcome their fear and negative associations with money by empowering individuals to take control of their finances.